Life by a Thousand Cuts

Part One - The Outer Cuts

Life isn’t easy, and I refuse to pretend it is.

I frequently cross paths with a wide range of people, including family, friends, acquaintances, and clients. I’m fully immersed in the soup that is humanity, and while I do my damndest to keep my attention pointed at the sweet pieces, I’d have to be willfully ignorant of all the pain the world holds. Family, friends, acquaintances, and clients, all hurting to varying degrees.

However, I’m solution-based. This morning, I woke up wondering what kind of writing I would bring to the world, as part of my spiritual practice involves devoting myself to writing regularly. Offering perspectives rooted in my experience is important in and of itself.

I woke up this morning with the phrase “death by a thousand cuts” rolling through my head. I’d never bothered to research where that phrase originates from, and it comes from a form of Chinese torture called lingchi. It’s pretty self-explanatory: a form of torture where a person was given a series of minor cuts until they, in combination, became fatal.

Yet it goes against every part of my being to simply complain without offering a solution. If I’m going to bitch, I’m also going to build. I can think of nothing more bothersome than someone who simply complains without taking action to address the problem. While those who complain might find a small amount of peace by bitching and moaning, they’re ultimately compounding the problem and making it worse.

If I woke up with Spirit whispering “death by a thousand cuts,” then I knew they’d trust me to come up with, in a figurative sense, a thousand and one band-aids. Many of us are simply surviving, if we can call it that, and thriving seems to be a luxury right now.

Daily life might seem like “death by a thousand cuts,” but we can’t focus on our collective pain alone. Let’s explore those cuts and our current life in general, but let’s also focus on the cures to what ails us. Let’s dig in, and as we do, I’ll focus on the “cuts” that come to us from the world around us. Next week, I’ll dive into the cuts we carry inside us.

Social Media

If you’re reading this, you most likely found this on some form of social media. I initially post these on Substack and then cross-post them elsewhere. For me, as an entrepreneur, social media is a necessary evil. I’ve been on social media since 2008 or so, and it’s been a steep learning curve on how to use it without it becoming a detriment to my mental health.

First, the constant comparison. I use my social media profiles as digital photo albums, recording moments in my life, and if people appreciate my journey, that’s wonderful. I try to share humor and art, and of course, I have to share my entrepreneurial pursuits - it’s how I stay alive.

Yet, the grind of social media is tough, and many people inadvertently compare themselves to the “perfect” moments that others share. The perfection people share is nothing but an illusion, and I can’t recall how many times I’ve seen distraught people share only the image of peace and wholeness in their lives. We’re social creatures who crave connection, yet the algorithms that give us that connection are built to feed insecurity, outrage, and addictive behavior.

There’s such a psychological toll to always being available, always “on.”

What can we do about social media, when so many of us find connection with this necessary evil, yet are affected in ways that might not seem readily apparent?

First, unfollow any accounts that make you feel “less than.” Unfollow and let go of people, pages, or organizations that spark outrage or despair. Be mindful of how you’re the “product” on most social media platforms and that you’re being manipulated at every turn.

While the next suggestion might be more challenging for some than it is for others, consider a digital detox or a “sabbath.” Try disconnecting from your phone and social media for an entire day, if you’re able. Mute notifications, and let the important people in your life know what you’re doing so they don’t feel like you’re ignoring them.

There’s no rule, written or unwritten, that requires you to be reachable at all times.

News and Classic Media

We’re not in the days of Walter Cronkite anymore. Back in the day, news anchors delivered the news and left the viewer to decide how they would feel about it.

Now? The news is delivered while telling you how to feel. Some news stations offer 24/7 news coverage, and the fear-based content found in every single news outlet is designed to keep us watching. Humans can become addicted to fear and the sensation of being “in the know,” and corporate media will always value their ratings and ad dollars over our well-being.

But humans not only want to stay connected, we want to stay informed. Currently, there’s a lot to stay informed about, but a key distinction lies between being a victim of sensationalism and feeling empowered.

We can’t stick our heads in the sand, especially when it comes to local concerns and weather events. Let’s stay informed, but we should do our best to choose a limited number of trusted sources. No matter what we do, we shouldn’t doomscroll on social media, and we shouldn't let classic media fill us with doom.

When it comes to bad news, try the sandwich method. Traditionally, the sandwich method includes “sandwiching” critical feedback between two pieces of positive feedback. Try to set a time boundary when it comes to news, and be mindful of “talking heads.” Try reading the news instead of watching it, and notice your emotional response each time you consume it.

As I read somewhere along the way, if you’re easily offended, you’re easily manipulated.

You won’t reach your destination if you stop to throw rocks at every dog that barks at you.

Economic Insecurity

Let’s face it: the cost of living is rising, and it doesn’t seem like anyone in the United States government is taking meaningful action to support working people. With lobbying, the Citizens United ruling, and other corporate interests taking priority over working people’s everyday lives, it is clear that we live in a corporatocracy.

How many of us feel the need to hustle, denying ourselves the joy and rest we need? An entrepreneur since 2013, I’ve gone through enough bouts of breakdown and burnout before I learned how to prioritize both joy and rest.

Still, I’m a working-class American - and like most of us, I feel like I’m a sneeze away from a health emergency that devastates any sort of financial security I’ve built for myself. Still, my body is not a machine, and it requires sleep and downtime. How many of us need a reminder that fatigue is not a moral failure?

When it comes to “hustle culture,” we have to keep our lights on, sure - but we need to prioritize our sanity. Our worth is inherent, and most certainly not contingent on how much we produce. Can we relearn what joy feels like outside of producing?

How long do we have to work our fingers to the bone before we realize fatigue isn’t moral failure?

Climate Anxiety and Global Crisis Fatigue

I’ve lived in the same area for my entire life. Every summer that goes by, especially those in my Forties, gives me an aching kind of sadness.

There are no more grasshoppers. As a kid, grasshoppers were so prevalent. Bugs in general, and even when I was driving in my teens, I remember going through jugs of windshield washer fluid - and now, it seems like bug guts are hardly on my windshield.

How many years, for those of us in New England, have we gone through summers of hazy skies from Canadian wildfires? So many. For the third consecutive year, specifically on July 10th, the Northeast Kingdom of Vermont has been hit hard by torrential rains and flooding.

Thousand-year events, my rear end.

Political crises, countries bombing countries, tens of thousands of people being forced into starvation. Cut, cut, cut.

We could choose to ignore the situation, but we’re built to be compassionate and empathetic human beings. We live in an era where information is poured over our heads like rainwater in a storm, and we’re all walking around without umbrellas.

On top of all those cuts?

Guilt.

I can’t speak for other humans, but I find myself inundated by the torrent of current events, and even weather changes outside my front door. I’m trying to keep the little industry of my life going while the world seems to be rattling slowly apart around us all.

I know I’m not the only one who feels a tinge of guilt, righteous or not, at trying to “do my part” in a system that’s too big for one person to change.

I recycle. I do my best to reduce and reuse. Still, the skies open up and wash away roads and homes yearly. I’m doing my best to resist emotional burnout in the face of all the collective trauma and helplessness, and while I don’t know what I can do to stop any of it, I know what I’m not going to do: I’m not going to complain about it needlessly.

So, solutions, as much as I can offer them from my little corner of the world.

First, let these emotions be real. I don’t recommend that people turn away from their feelings, but I always try to encourage them to use their emotions skilfully. Feel the feelings, but let them motivate you to action that seems impactful at your level. Recycling, thrifting, and reducing single-use plastics can all feel sacred if followed through with intention.

Emotion of all types is meant to move, and suppressing them can harden our souls. There’s plenty of calamity in the world to bear witness to, especially with the advent of social media and the immediacy of information at our fingertips.

Those cuts can be overwhelming, but they shouldn’t be debilitating. While it may feel like we’re lost in the bigger picture, we can do what we can with what we have, where we are. While not everyone is meant to be an activist on the front lines, we can live our values in our daily lives. Perhaps our role is to write and create art that inspires hope, and maybe we can simply raise kind children.

Tending to our local soil or community garden can help us feel like we’re making a positive impact, and if we don’t have rich, black soil to sink our fingers into, we can do our best to support others emotionally or spiritually. We can donate and amplify voices that speak to our values as effectively as possible. The world is overwhelming, but all is not lost. We have so many tools that, when used with intention, can help stem the tide of hopelessness.

We have many tools, such as the very phones in our hands. Our cell phones are just tools, and they won’t diminish our mental, emotional, and spiritual health unless we let them. Can you create a “Circle of Care,” or become part of one? Finding a group, or making one, that shares your values - even in an informal setting - can help you hold onto hope.

These groups might include a spiritual circle, a gardening club, or even a text thread of friends who remind each other not to spiral. Mutual aid and support are antidotes to collective despair. None of us is a tree standing alone in a field; we’re all part of a forest.

In a forest, not every tree is tall, but every root system matters.